During the decade of seventy the imágen of the lesbian woman like a masculine cut woman to the monkfish appears and with a strong aversion to the men and activist in the new motion feminist.

The purpose of those defamatory images is above all the one of intimidating. The woman teacher of young ladies’ school constitutes a threat against the paper that plays the woman, to the being single and independent economically. The same thing happens to the femenista that fixes its without the men.

But will there be some in these no defamatory images truely? If, the contexts, the lesbian women in different epochs have turned to different means or places where only they found themselves womanly. The school for young ladies, the motion can be femenista, civil defense’s, the scouts’s or the football team’s feminine body. In these means the women have found comradeship, friendship and intimacy at the edge of their sexual inclination.

But also they exist, for a long time clubs and associations directly for lesbians one of the firsts was Diana, that he was founded on the fifties.

The men’s life gay constitutes a challenge for society

The fact that the men gay be more visible than the lesbians in society, it does not mean that I be easier being gay. On the contrary, since it is right in the homosexual men’s case when the relation between visibility and prejudice becomes more patent.

This has his expression when for example, goes out to thrash homosexuals, boys that look for the places where the homosexual men meet with the only intention of intimidating and making damage.

In all the epochs they have created hostile images in connection with the men gay, and especially in connection with your sexuality. Of periodic shape, the fear to the masculine homosexuality has been reflected through long and intense social debates.

It is the case for example of the debate on the homosexual plotting during the fifties, and of the case Ebbe Carlsson ( a man, busybody in politics, the fact that he showed up openly like homosexual and as affected of AIDS ) in eighty .

The existent resistance toward homosexuality so much masculine like feminine he has his origins in the same preconceived ideas. So much men as the female homosexuals constitute, with their very existence a challenge to the sexual roles, the traditional family, and the heterosexual monopoly on love and relations.

A notable part of the gay culture, tour in connection with the sexuality same. Places like parks, public restrooms and living rooms of movie theater are pornography, examples of places all over the world where the men gay they can find themselves to establish sexual contact.

Besides this, there exists a culture of bars and discotheques where it is possible to socialize and establishing contacts for more durable relations.

The society has tried, through of the years controlling of different shapes the homosexual men’s sexuality. During the decade of fifty this was done through police roundups against parties of gay people; Today the sample of the same fear hit myself, when saunas and clubs of videos close.

Before one pleaded like escusa, the desire of protecting the young. Today the escusa is AIDS. Of what in reality he talks to each other nowadays as then it becomes of the same lack of understanding toward the gay culture.

The circumstance that gay man’s search of contact, constitute one of the most visible factors between the ways of relating to each other, often hide the fact that the men gay just like lesbians and heterosexual they live in long couple’s accounts.

During the last decades the VIH and AIDS have come to influír on a lot of men’s life gay. Many are them the fact that the lovers, friends have lost victims of disease, other ones suffer it themselves.

For the homosexual man it is necessary to learn how to live with the VIH and to learn to protect oneself to himself and to other ones.

Speaking of homosexuality, there are two peoples of the former East that are of particular importance: the Hittites and the Hebrews.
The Hittites, because apparently there is a code Hittites (1400 BC) a law allowing marriage for men, although this interpretation is controversial, and because the Jews against homosexuality led a fierce fight, perpetuated by religion and later by Christianity, is still, after almost fifteen centuries, the basis of the conviction on the part of Western civilization.

In ancient Mediterranean, the country where homosexuality was relatively free, socially acceptable and, in some respects, even exalted, was Greece.
It loves pedophiles (men for boys) and Sapphic (of women by other women) met an exceptional flowering, accompanied by a highly literary, artistic and philosophical.

Much of the inspiration of Greek art is gay, starting with the naked men, held by the sculpture, especially between the fifth and fourth century BC, with a fervor unmatched Greek poetry also owes much of its inspiration to homosexuality, as evidenced by the line of the poet Sappho.

Roman civilization is not aware of homosexuality, though, especially during the Republic, punish severely (but only if practiced by a Roman citizen).

Also ancient China throughout its history but above all from two century BC (Han Dynasty), a known homosexual activity.

In feudal Japan Homosexuality was characteristic of a military nature.

Returning to the Mediterranean area, do not forget that the Arab civilization in the Middle Ages, built under multiple views of the Greek civilization, he met an extraordinary era of poetic inspiration pederast with a large number of anecdotes on the subject of it is possible to get an idea by reading the full version of The Thousand and One Nights.
In the Arab tradition pederast has remained until today.

Also in Western countries, even after the affirmation of Christianity and its prohibition of homosexuality, the evidence, though less frequent, occurred throughout the Middle Ages. The sentences of the Popes and bishops, the judgments of the processes and executions are proof that this forbidden love still surviving despite todo.El Renaissance stimulated in turn, in the XV and XVI, the flowering of homosexuality, which brought the memory of ancient Greece.
And as in ancient Greece, Renaissance Europe and finally in modern Europe there have been famous people who have practiced homosexuality exclusively or alternating with heterosexuality

a substitute satisfaction of sexual pleasure. Often a source of serious psychological distress for those who practice, seldom lead to violence

For treatment to be successful, a voyeur must want to modify existing patterns of behavior. This initial step is difficult for most voyeurs to admit and then take. Most must be compelled to accept treatment. This may often be the result of a court order.

Behavioral therapy is commonly used to try to treat voyeurism. The voyeur must learn to control the impulse to watch non-consenting victims, and just as importanly to acquire more acceptable means of sexual gratification. Outcomes of behavioral therapy are not known. There are no direct drug treatments for voyeurism.

Voyeurism is a criminal act in many jurisdictions. It is usually classified as a misdemeanor. As a result, legal penalties are often minor. The possibility of exposure and embarrassment may deter some voyeurs. It is also not easy to prosecute voyeurs as intent to watch is difficult to prove. In their defense statements, they usually claim that the observation was accidental

Exhibitionism

The exhibit is characterized by an individual and repetitive incoercible need to display their genitals, often totally alien to people, getting a form of mental relaxation that other sexual practices do not provide.

Exhibitionism is exclusively male subjects.
During the exhibition, the man shown in some cases and in others not erect, just as sometimes reaches ejaculation and others do not.

Generally need to show is evident in the years after puberty and lifelong. Many expect exhibitionist married or any other form of establishing a stable relationship together, come to show their willingness to harness, but they must realize that only gives them exposure to authentic satisfaction and sex acts only as a substitute.

The factor that breaks the momentum of exhibitionist varies from one subject to another and may involve certain age groups (children or adults) of a certain hair color, hairstyle or clothing, certain groups of people, etc..
Some are displayed on the stairs of the houses, others prefer to park or make it from your car, waiting to pass someone.
The behavior of each exhibit is often more or less constant.
Some exhibitionist meticulously organized excursions.
Others are more impulsive and are displayed only if they are in a special mental state or whether a person who goes by the street suddenly awakened interest.

Exhibitionism exists in all social groups: no expression, therefore, a particular “primitive” or “brutalization” or a lack of sense of responsibility.
On the contrary, many are deeply unhappy exhibitionist, in part because of the risk that momentum social andalusia his exposes them to themselves and their families, but perhaps especially because many exhibitionistic know that this form of sexuality is very marginal and poor not given the possibility of a reciprocal relationship, nor has the emotional aspects of living with other forms of sexuality.

The exhibitionist so often feel that “something is not going well in it,” feels that it is abnormal and this is especially when you start to understand that their partner, which moreover is very close and loving can not provide the sexual satisfaction that only gets in the special circumstances related to the act exhibitionist.

Such subjects are generally not violent, the exhibitionist is limited to an attack from a distance, very different from that of the sadist.
By contrast, the exhibitionist often falls victim to understand the anger of the people which is displayed before being chased and beaten.

Either way, it is relatively unusual for exhibitionist sex therapy applying to better understand their situation and to “heal”. Often, their self-censorship issue, saying other psychological problems.

Voyeurism is a psychosexual disorder in which a person derives sexual pleasure and gratification from looking at the naked bodies and genital organs or observing the sexual acts of others. The voyeur is usually hidden from view of others. Voyeurism is a form of paraphilia.

A variant form of voyeurism involves listening to erotic conversations. This is commonly referred to as telephone sex, although it is usually considered voyeurism primarily in the instance of listening to unsuspecting persons.

Human sexual life great individual variations with regard to the intensity of stimulation and sexual behavior and attitudes. Furthermore, sexual function in the person is not the exclusive service of reproduction: this is only one component of sexual function, and perhaps not even important from a subjective point of view. These factors, namely the large variations mdividual sex with multiple aspects of sexual function, hindering the task of tra.zar a boundary between what is seen as nonnal and what should instead be considered a diversion. There are in fact in sexology manuals that completely eliminates the concept of sexual deviation, just habléndose minority in place or using the definition of “sexual variations.”
The term deviations remains, however, the most used.
Moreover, the term implies a moral evaluation debauchery after also seems unjustified tene vaante, as in humans there are no alternatives to the placental bisexual reproduction.
It is also necessary to review the mistaken view that any sexual activity can lead a normal component of diversion. Indeed, not all that harmless fun inflicting beatings, whippings, and so on. sadomasochists nor are the people you love erotic shows are voyeurs, “the same way that no former or
Homosexuality is a very old and, in some civilizations, fully accepted.

IMPACT 
This is a controversial figure, difficult to establish. The figures are distorted by a long series of factors: the small number of homosexuals “registered” with attacks on public morality, the “high” number of gays who respond to calls without any problems from the interviewers, with intentions of self; the fear of fear “corruption of youth”, the guilt of those who prefer not to confess their preferences, the exhibitionism of some gay men, the discretion of female homosexuality, and finally and most importantly, the error consisting in considering homosexual prepuberal games with individuals of the same sex, in regard to gay men and women and hesitant to take as evidence of homosexuality a “potential”, “latent” or even “unconscious” dreams, ghosts, who have never slip resulted in actual homosexual acts.
According to the statistical method selected in the human population would be January 1 to 20% of homosexuals: imprecision obviously excessive. A figure of between 3 and 6% seems to be a valid assumption.

Nevertheless, it is not an equivalent proportion among mammals. Most other mammals, whether male or female, show the most homosexual behavior in adulthood, at least in certain circumstances, while rare animals are exclusively homosexual

This system has its origin in the negative attitude in front of homosexuality naturally and presents so much advantages like inconveniences. Advantages are that people right now introduced in this world know with what they are going to find and what homosexual contacts should make to establish. Many of these places enable anonymous contacts, something that a lot of homosexuals desire to safeguard their family, their position, etc. Other places allow the homosexual to relax and being he himself without dissimulating or hiding, that he is what in many instances he sees obliged to make. Inconveniences, between other ones, are that it is needed a little time to learn how to recognize this subculture’s existence and to enter in her. A lot of subjects, especially young, they do not know where to go or establish certain fear before this type of possibilities. Society a little while ago or swim to help the homosexuals to discover his identity, remaining often the reduced homosexuality a subterranean phenomenon to something that we have to hide.

Another inconvenience is the so-called intention of ghetto that he tends to create for itself under the circumstances, as well as the fact that a lot of homosexuals do not feel comfortable in this type of places and they can desire other modes of contact. Besides, to use these places proves to be to the subjects of more age often difficult to them, markedly juvenile.

The appearing of AIDS has provoked numerous changes in this homosexual subculture, inasmuch as AIDS, at least in this start-up period, is especially widespread between the masculine homosexuals.

HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT

Many think that in a homosexual relation one of the couple’s components imitates always or substantially woman’s paper and the other the manly paper. Definitely in some cases that way it happens. However, in many instances, possibly in the bigger part of the homosexual relations, papers are interchangeable and the couple’s components behave of equivalent shape. Consequently, a person can be the most active part in a relation and the most passive in another one, in show, for example, of the relation of existent age between the couple’s both members.

The modes of development of sexual relations are, in a sense, similar to those in the ones that produce the heterosexual relations themselves. In the relations between men practical more used they are the reciprocal masturbation, the fellatio ( of Latin fellare sucking ) and the anal intercourse. In the relations between women the most frequent practices are the reciprocal masturbation, the cunnilingus ( of Latin culinus feminine organon genitalis and lingere: Licking ), as well as the simulations of sexual intercourse with or without the utilization of a mechanical phallus.

The term “subculture” (introduced as recently as 1936 by the sociologist Ralph Linton] applies to ethnic, regional, economic, and social groups showing special worlds of interest and identification which serve to distinguish them within the larger culture or society.

Sexual Implications.
The homosexual subculture is often regarded as constituting the individuals who have come out or emerged from the closet and are openly pursuing agay lifestyle, often in the setting of the urban gay ghetto. In keeping with the preceding discussion, emphasis should, however, be laid rather on the self-identification of the participants (as “gay” or “lesbian”) and on their common interests (same-gender sex, opposition to homophobia), artifacts (publications, jewelry, buttons], and values (sexual autonomy, social pluralism). In this sense, the homosexual subculture is much smaller than the aggregate of those engagingin homosexualacts, or even those who consciously define themselves as homosexual, inasmuch as many of these do not participate in group activities or acquire artifacts. Sociological theory also has difficulty in accounting for people who identify themselves not as homosexual but as bisexual (or even, in some cases, such as with many male prostitutes, as heterosexual), but who are otherwise seen to participate widely in major aspects of the “homosexual subculture.”

However, in most cases this behavior, which actually has some homosexual, does not lead to love or to any search of erotic satisfaction. On the contrary, it can be said that the “intimate friendships” that arise in the period of adolescence is generally a positive development toward psychological maturity, and very often the most durable because they are extended in youth and age adult, without any influence on the sexual habits.

The ability of adolescents and young people in general come to mutual masturbation or other sexual acts transient occurs most often, of course, in environments where there is a more or less rigid separation between men and women, groups of boys or Girls who have little or no chance of erotic contact with the opposite sex: unisexual communities like schools, reformatories, sport camps, barracks and prisons. Are groups or communities where they do exist, as elsewhere, homosexuals or individuals to truly be, but in a minority. However, are sufficient, as is usually said to “pass” to homosexuality companions healthy? This is a hypothesis yet to be confirmed, although it is very significant that most of the acts, even at the invitation of a true homosexual, as “alternative relief” often accompanied by erotic fantasies to the opposite sex, the who feel the absence.

Is still a widespread view that the emergence of homosexuality in a stable in general be attributed to a “seduction” suffered in childhood, adolescence or youth by a stranger or an adult of the same sex . However, if so, and because the experiences are very frequent casual sex, men and women erotic “diverted” towards persons of the same sex would be much more numerous as they are. The “contagion” or “seduction” homosexual therefore represent only a hypothesis without checking, the easiest among many others.

What is important, and this also applies to adults, it does not dramatize the experiences of homosexuality occasional, transitory and isolated that occur in the absence of a partner or a companion of the opposite sex, or at times of emotional or affective discomfort .

In such cases we should not cultivate exaggerated feelings of guilt, or worse, afraid to be marked by the “seal” of homosexuality. There are in any change that can pass through a critical phase of insecurity and disorientation that can lead to an erotic inclination, even affectionate, toward any person’s own sex, but this, however, can not and should not prevent to undertake or resume a life of heterosexuality, if not made in a rigid, neurotic, falling into the opposite excess

What Claudius says is a fantasy very common in the young people, and the adults even: the hymen obturates all the vaginal entrance. In fact it is an elastic membrane, an embryonic remainder without no utility, that borders the vaginal wall but without occluding it. Therefore, there is no problem so that it leaves the menstruation. When yes it occludes it totally – made rare luckily -, imperforado hymen is denominated: the blood does not lower, it is accumulated in the uterus (hematocolpos) and is necessary to make an operation. But in the immense majority of the cases the hymen is like an edge that allows with all facility the peneana penetration unless, by little lubrication or fear, it becomes uncomfortable or it bothers.

A penetration can be painful the first physiological or even external time, for both, if it becomes of an abrupt way and without a vaginal lubrication, (I advise, in certain cases, to also lubricate the penis). This is a much more valid reason that the rupture of the hymen; even, often, there are neither pain nor no sanguineous losses or are in minimum amount. The hymen can “be broken” in gymnastic practices, equitación, cycling or during some effort.

Of all ways conservation of hymen until marriage, that took in some cases to aberrant interventions like giving points him in the vagina of women who were not virgin to simulate that they were it, today no longer is a good so appraised as, once safe for recalcitrant machistas, old dinosaurios of the past which this way they want to continue holding the dominion and control on the women.

By all means, that a young person wants to arrive virgin at the marriage, with his conserved hymen, is a sovereign decision that always there is to respect. The Sexólogos we do not promote that the young people must maintain relations precociously sexual, but advocated that they can get to do it in a frame of security, confidence and affection, when they wish it, without impositions nor prohibitions.

The trauma designates, first of all, a personal event of the history of the subject, whose date can settle down with exactitude, and that is subjectively important by the laborious effects that it can trigger; it cannot be spoken of traumatic events of an absolute way, without considering the own susceptibility of each individual.

Of the sexual experiences that can be lived as traumatic we could mention: incestuosas relations, sexual violations, abuses, a seduction homo or heterosexual of an adult to niñ@s or young people, salary surprised during the sexual act, that as a result of that only sexual act has taken place a pregnancy nonwished that it culminated in abortion, the initiation with a brutal and thoughtless companion, etc. In spite of the undeniable importance of a fact of this type, contemporary psychology already has let consider that a single cause can determine how there is to be the future life of that individual. Today it is preferred to speak of the multicausality (Freud spoke of sobredetermination) and not of a mere relation causaefecto between the traumatic fact and the later sexual experiences.

Beginning with prostitute

Caesar, 14 years: Which is the difference between making debut with one prostitute or with a friend?

Mariano, 17 years: Is not better to begin with prostitutas to learn?

The basic difference is given, appealing to the conditions above-mentioned, by the frame of affective security, mutual confidence, love and, also, by the possibility of a greater stability and frequency of encounter with that pair.

In the case of prostitutes to many young people the possibility worries to them of contracting some disease of sexual transmission. This does not happen to him with the friend but, in counterpart, it troubles the fear to embarrass it. Anyway, we do not think that it is necessary to begin as much with prostitutas, since the experience says to us that, in young people as in adults, it is badly a learning.

We will mention some eloquent phrases referred this type of sexual debut:

“Everything was very cold…”
“It said to Me: we go pibe that becomes behind schedule…”
“Era in a work in construction and was dark… she took hold to me and eyaculé immediately… I did not saw it, I did not know how she was…”
“I entered terrified and he did not hit upon to do nothing, she said to me that he tranquilized to me, but outside my friends began to strike and to shout: apurate skinny! …”
“I was scared so much that I could not do nothing; when I left, by all means I told that he had obtained it.”
“I made debut in a seat with which I knew in the street, and soon after finishing the police arrived and it took to us to both. To me they released to me immediately but to her they said to him that they would apply `article to him’ and it remained inside.”
“It was in the papa deposit and when one of the boys was inside and we played letters, it arrived my old one and it ran us to all of the place…”
The first time

Mario, 21 years: A woman can be pregnant in one first sexual relation?

Final we say that yes, still more: it can be pregnant although it does not mediate penetration and desfloración, since if the man finishes near the vagina the spermatozoa can ascend taking advantage of the vaginal lubrication. So the use of contraceptive methods always prevails. Also a ETS can be infected reason why the use of the preservative prevails.

Paola, 19 years: Is common that a woman finishes in his first time?

As in all the first experiences in the human being time is necessary to occur to be discovering the placenteras possibilities, that not necessarily they arrive in the first contacts. It remembers like were clumsy the first steps, the first time that you wrote, the first kiss, the first dance. Then: in the debut it can be that they have a orgásmica experience, but habitual, due to the great expectation and anxiety that this situation involves, is that so famous orgasmo does not appear.

We have compiled some loose phrases of our patients, speaking of its sexual beginnings, these will give a clear idea us of the conflicting thing that they can get to be under certain circumstances:

“I had as much terror in being pregnant that I did not feel anything…”
“When I was of honeymoon was scared, did not know how it was! My husband could do it just to the fourth day…”
“It was not wanted to put condón and I had panic to infect to me of something, in the end used it but I could not enjoy…”
“The truth is that it hurt to me, was as an ardor and my fiancè made a little brutal, I I thought that that was not worth the trouble, luckily soon the thing was improving.”
“We were in the house vestibule and with my fiancè we dealt to do stopped it. Suddenly we saw the light of the dormitory; I had panic of which my father discovered to us…”
This it is a small sample book of initiations not very pleasing, but quite common, specially some years back.

We wanted to brief not as much like peculiar data – or that the famous “night of weddings” very many times he is frustrating due to the inexperience, anxiety and ignorance of both; we even know of cases in which the marriage returned virgin from! to honeymoon. Today, to tell the truth, “the so virgin” young people do not arrive at that night (in all sense) like long ago. As far as the men who prolong their virginity, although they want to complete the sex with penetration, we have spoken extensively in the article on virgin Men.

Sandra, 17 years: Can be that a woman nonblood after first sexual relation?

Yes, it is possible. Before we said that bleeding can appear little; often even there is no blood slope. This it is a fact that does not have importance, safe in those cultures where it is demanded that the sheet appears covered with blood after night of weddings. In them the foresighted mothers advised to their daughters to take a bag with chicken blood to spill it at the suitable moment. In another article of this section we have spoken of the Myth of the hymen.

Graciela, 26 years: Which is the cause of which, in one first relation, the man does not make (sic) erection?

There are diverse circumstances that make notch, “in even the most mentioned”. These can be conditions of anxiety, exigency to satisfy the woman, fear to embarrass it or to hurt it, unfavorable environment, a little collaborating attitude of the pair, fear to the failure. All this can affect the good operation of the man, as well as it can also inhibit the woman. The important thing is that soon this fact to the point is not magnified that is constituted in something obsessive and definitive: that anybody has not been able sometimes is not synonymous of which it will never be able.

Clorinda, 23 years: Is certain what I read in a magazine of which many men have begun with animals? It seems to me an aberration.

This that to Clorinda it seems to him an aberration is common in rural means, where the isolation is so that it takes to have sporadic contacts with animals; fact that, on the other hand, appears described from the Biblical times. In two beautiful films, as Padrone Father and the ballad of Narayama can be observed acts like the mentioned ones. Anyway, he is neither best nor the most advisable thing like sexual experience; although he is infrequent that this type of contacts persists throughout the existence of an individual, unless it never can have possibility of being related to a woman.

The men and the virgins

Daniel, 18 years: A man is debilitated sexually if it has relations with a virgin?

Andrea, 19 years: Existe the rejection of the man before a virgin?

The fear of the men before the feminine virginity is a as old fact as the same history of the humanity. The mystery of that dark cavity grotto where falo of the man penetrates completely without information has intimidated and taken to construct complicated rituals of desfloración, that formerly included the presence of priests specialized in carrying out this task, which although seems strange, fulfilled enormous sacrifice.

In addition, one of the oldest taboos talks about to the contact with the emanated feminine blood of the vagina: one assumed that it had maleficent powers and it could cause weakness, disease and until the death. Today in some Australian tribes the penetration of a virgin is even made at a distance, using instruments of wood or ivory.

In the days of old Greece or of the Roman Empire it was custom that some women yielded their virginity in honor to the God of the fecundity (Príapo), seating on falo turgid of the statue that represented the God. In African tribes these practices of ritual desfloración with falos used by the wizards even persist. In many cases, he himself father of the fiancèe was in charge of this practice before donating it to it to the husband (in those culture the woman considered a mere object property of the father, yielded to the dominion of the husband).

In the Medioevo the feudal gentleman could exert the pernada right call of, that consisted of taking to the fiancèe after the office of the marriage and desflorar it before the husband. This tradition was derived in its beginning of the fear before the contact with the blood of the virgin, but later it was reduced to a mere despotic practice.

At the present time, some men, maintain these magnified ancestral fears in the fóbicos but, luckily for the women, they are the minuses, and today no longer no intermediary looks for, is priest, chamán, statue or village caudillo to act this as, that does not debilitate the man nor “contaminates with impurities”.

Note: for this series of articles some texts of “Sexuality in the pair” were used (Sapetti – Rosenzvaig, Galerna Editorial, 1987).

Susi, 18: so that so much is valued the feminine virginity and not therefore the masculine one?

The valuation of the feminine virginity and the obligation to arrive as so at the marriage have been consequence of the masculine domination and the restoration of patriarcales systems. In order to certify the paternity, the man, it forced to the woman the forced fidelity, to the premarried abstention and the prescription of the virginity until the law of the marriage qualified it, erogando for himself the possibility of everything what it prohibited the woman him. F. Engels supposes that, like consequence, they appear the figures of prostitution and the adultery. The feminine virginity assured in the male, that her woman, had not been had and, like its utensils, its own house, its animals, its inheritance, also the female happened to be object of its property.

At the moment, to a great extent, there is lost the sense of the dominion and the control of the man on the woman; as much small as boys, in general, they decide with greater freedom the moment for having relations that it has to do more with the desire to do the one that with moral, legal or religious rules.
With regard to the men, in another article, we have developed the thematic one of the virgin man even with interesting testimonies.

DEBUT AND PAIN

Pablo, 18: Pain the first time? I have understood that a relation between frenillo exists and its rupture in the debut.
Cynthia, 19: The first sexual relation of a woman always is painful?

A penetration could have been painful for both if for of abrupt way and without previous a vaginal lubrication. This is one more a reason more valid than the rupture of the hymen, even often are neither pain nor no sanguineous losses or, if there are them, it is in minimum amount. In another article we have developed with greater extension the subject of the myth of the hymen. In the man it does not have so that to hurt nor frenillo is cut (a man can be all his life without he is cut to him, in other cases is necessary to arrive at the surgical act), since the vagina is the sufficiently elastic thing like allowing the penetration.

VIRGINITY AND BELIEFS

Omar, 25: Although it never seems strange I had sexual relations and I aspire to arrive at the marriage without them to have had, I consider this like a correct attitude. How take You?
Carmen, 53: Is advisable to arrive virgin at the marriage?
Alberto, 29: I have been leaving with a girl for two years. She is catholic medical instructor and she does not want to have relations before marrying. I want to know if the religion inhibits the sexual feelings.

In relation to the question of Alberto on the possible inhibiting effect of the religion on the sexual feelings we must say that some religions in special of derived from the common trunk judeo-Christian, have condemned and repressed the placenteros aspects of the sexuality, subordinating them its merely reproductive facet.

To maintain or relations sexual is not a decision that will have to be ruined to the intimate election of each person. It is based on the own ideals and beliefs, but these are always influenced by systems of values, familiar or religious pressures. Nevertheless there is nothing criticable or no censurable in the decision to remain virgin, but in the same way the will will have to be respected of those who wishes to begin sexually outside the law of the marriage.

THE FEARS

Noemí, 16: I am much scared to lose the virginity and that later the men do not accept to me.
Marta, 18: I have been of fiancèe for two years, we are wanted. My fiancè began to request to me that we make the love, nevertheless I am scared of which if acceptance and this relation do not continue other they consider less me not being virgin.
Esteban, 21: My fiancèe, who is not virgin, wants to have relations. She gives fear me that she of account of my inexperience. How I must act?
Louis, 22: Which are the fears most common in the young people who have not begun in sex?

Let us think that the young people of our days no longer consider like a supreme good to the virginity. The fears related to the possible loss of the love or the respect of a man to have acceded to maintain sexual relations with him, seem to have more to do with folletines of the years 40 that with the present reality. Although still prohibitions and fears persist in certain social sectors and orthodox religious groups in which it is continued valuing the feminine virginity like a supreme good, thing that we think that it is related to the scorn by the woman and the submission that this one must suffer. In addition if un/a compañero/a, novio/a, rejects to its pair by the mere fact of being virgin is not being confused the part with the whole and it is let value to the other like person.

They do not exist technical certain and precise appropriate for the debut, yes are minimum conditions based on the love, the confidence and the mutual security.

The most frequent fears in the girls are:

To the pain
To being damaged
The social consequences
To that one notices to them
To the pregnancy
To being “a easy girl”
To the object that is going to penetrate in its near space
To being put under
To being left later
To the rejection
To being discovered by its family
To I infect of some disease

In the men they are:

To penetrate
To the blood
Not to have erection
To fail
To not knowing how what to do
Not to find where
To the ridiculous situation
To the hymen
To eyacular before penetrating or “to go away fast”
To make damage
To embarrass
(Adapted of an investigation of Kornhauser- Rosenzvaig, 1985)

Which would be the best conditions for the sexual initiation of the adolescents?

Some of these conditions already were commented but it is worth the trouble to reiterate some requirements necessary to assure a good sexual initiation:

A free and responsible education
Trustworthy information
A suitable and safe place
Time available
Contraceptive and surely reliable, suitable and proven method with previous medical advising
Use of the Profhylactic
To obtain privacy
Knowledge that more express and is not synonymous much of better
To have tolerance, compression and patience towards the other and one same one
Mutual affection and care

Many ask if there is an appropriate age for the sexual initiation: any age indicated for it does not exist.

We can say that, statistically, in Argentina, the men begin around the 15 to 17 years, like the girls. This has come changing with the times, 30 years back, they began between the 13 and the 15, generally with prostitutas and in group, or some better off with the domestic service in its own home, few with its fiancèes or even with relatives.
Soon they appeared saunas and the houses of massages (before tolerance houses were the calls “”). For some men these beginnings had a load of brutal anxiety, with a sensation of deception or real impotence, product of the fear and the hardship: many they would confess to us, years later in the doctor’s office, that in that debut in fact could not begin.
The women however, began more near 20 and many with marriage by means of. At this moment, is commonest the initiation in pair, relations of engagement, comradeship or friendship and usually they have relations in the own houses, their own quarters and, in many cases, with knowledge of his parents.

Certain statistics reveal that in the last year of secondary only a 20% has not had its sexual debut. Also we see it reflected in the consultations done in the pages of Internet, by young people of both smaller sexes of 18 years, asking for contraceptive methods or even for sexual disfunciones.
Perhaps this irritates or surprises many adults, but this one is the reality that, and without entering valorativos judgments, reigns in the present western societies. What puts in the rug that, a dialogue more opened between parents and children, of both sexes, without faults neither dictatorial recriminaciones nor attitudes, is an urgent necessity of our times.

Ages of sexual initiation average in some countries:

Argentina: men 14,9 years, women 15.7
Chile: men 16,2, women 17.2
USA: men 14,5, women 15.7
Spain: men 13,1, women 14.1

The questions that we have gathered throughout our professional work show that the sexual initiation, the first relation of penetration, continues being a landmark, an important and significant experience.

The adolescents usually express three fundamental preoccupations: how, when and where (Kornhauser – Rosenszvaig).
Exist a suitable and correct age for the initiation?
Hay an ideal form to make it?
What means to be prepared for that moment?

This is a stage of great commitment and begins the goodbye of the infantile body (now memory that beautiful film “Account with me” of Rob Reiner based on the story “The body” of Stephen King). We do not forget that that stage, somehow, will be recorded for always. After the debut, no longer we are such. As of that moment the behavior changes: initiation is symbol of independence, of passage of endogamia familiar to exogamia, of growth, of property to other group (the world is divided, for the young person, between “those that did it” and the one of “that still did not do it”) and is an important step in the separation respect to the parents, to such point that in many societies passage rites subsist, with ceremonies and rituals.